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𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏'𝒕 π’Œπ’Šπ’π’ π’šπ’π’–

ο»Ώο»ΏI want you to think about the beginning of your day today . Did you wake up and start your coffee ? What was the one big thing you planned on getting done today ? Sure there may have been a ton of plans and tasks you thought about , but which one was priority? My biggest priority today was this big house cleaning account I have . Three bedroom two bath all wood and tile home . Normally I wouldn’t schedule any cleanings on payday or my first day off , but today It was within good reason to get this one finished . This account is the one that overwhelms everyone , the home being so large that it takes quite a while and most pass on it . My husband says you have the day off hon why go clean you’re already tired . I told him about something one of my mentors said to me yesterday; β€œtam I don’t get you , you say you want more hours and then you say you want time off which one is it ?” The answer , well both πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ . You see I have strong will and extreme aspirations most of the time . The other 75 percent of me has depression . From day to day I don’t know which one will win . Some days I can clean the whole house do the shopping and go to work and others I struggle to get through the day begging to be in my bed binging my shows . Today was the day that depression tried to take over . The alarm clock both on my phone and in my brain had failed me this morning. Before even putting my feet into my slippers I felt completely defeated, how could I have not woken up ? I had at least two alarms precisely set (in case snooze failed me also ) and yet still nothing could wake me . That told me two things one being I am worn out and two my soul needs an break . When you make promises like to get an big job done you cannot just call in or push it off you have to get up and just do it . I hastily jumped up waking my daughter who I might add is not such an morning person either lately, Β  managed to get her clothed and lunchbox packed Β for class . Today’s discussion was our words reflect us , mentioning this to my daughter seemed slightly silly being she’s 5 and doesn’t understand quite yet how tones and words can hurt others . I explained to her if our words are kind and loving we are beautiful on the inside but people who use mean words are gross on the inside so we should ALWAYS be kind . After dropping her off for her day I went grocery shopping ( now setting back my plans 1.5 hours ) although we hadn’t coordinated an specific time just only the date it’s not as though I was late in that way , But my internal clock that had decided to finally kick in had certain ideas of where I’d be and when bringing anxiety and agitation . I finally showed up to my destination and did my due diligence with no company from my close friend exhaustion thankfully. When I finally set for home I had started to feel overwhelmed as I had only just accomplished the first thing on my to do list today. Suddenly the though came to me , I should be thankful . I started To speak out good thoughts in hopes of combating that overwhelming plague . β€œYou know what you started off on the wrong foot you still moved one foot in Front of the other and pursued your goal . β€œΒ ο»ΏI am proud of you !Β ο»ΏAnd that my dear friends is living with fibromyalgia and depression and trenching through motherhood . Some days you can choose to give up before you even begin and some days you can plant that flag on top of your metaphorical mountain of greatness . YOU get the choice . And that saying is what keeps you from giving up let’s say it loud β€œYOU GET TO CHOOSE β€œ !!!!!! And that is how I associate the saying β€œ what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger β€œ and you are the only one who gets to decide which happens . So today did you clear your to do list or did you let exhaustion win ? Guess what I’m going to let you in on something I learned the hard way , it’s totally okay if you didn’t Β !Β 

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