Thank you for shopping small !

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Did you make it through today ? If you are reading this you did it , you didn’t give up ! As an mom that continuously fights depression, chronic pain and fatigue that sentence up there means everything. As many of you know my husband has been away for a few years so it has just been me and my daughter. As an way of coping with that I’ve always worked myself so I had no free time to feel sorry for myself . Lately that method hasn’t been doing the trick like it used to , when I dive into why a few thoughts come to mind . The first explanation is he will be home very soon and the next is that I am just tired . I AM TIRED . If you are an single parent or even your partner is away a lot then I know you understand the weight of having everything around you depending on you . Yesterday morning I was woken up to β€œmommy my tummy hurts β€œ and then bam throw up on my shirt . My daughter has been going through a phase where getting her to eat is hard so I thought maybe she just doesn’t have enough in her stomach . But then the temperature came and repetitive vomit . I quickly came to her aide holding her hair giving her water and putting her in an bath . I called my mommy because yes I still need my mommy , I was panicking she has never been this sick before and I wasn’t sure what to do to help her and my mom had told me she is feeling the same way . Thankfully appendicitis was ruled out at that point as she was just with my mom . I called in sick to work which sadly and hard to admit if my mom wasn’t sick I would have still gone in Β . After cleaning bed sheets , checking temperature, wiping up vomit off of her and her bed . Wiping her after she went to the restroom so she doesn’t end up with an rash , convincing her to rake some sips of water Β and trying to get her put literally anything in her stomach she started crying that she wanted popsicles, mind you my mom is my backup so if I am ill or Ainsley is she goes and gets supplies. Being that she is just as ill I was at an loss as to how to get my princess her popsicles, such an simple yet important request when you are feeling under the weather . I cried because I don’t recall being so vulnerable with no backup . I didn’t know who to call mostly because I am an depressive shut in that doesn’t communicate with people . I got the thought to call my friend and thankfully I caught her just before she was getting to work it took no convincing how important this request was and her response was I am on my way . There it was the solution to the problem that would make or break our day . All day continued the same as well as all night every hour I was summoned to my baby’s room . Sleep was not in the cards and that was crystal clear . When she did finally go to sleep I slept πŸ™ŒπŸ». The time equivocated to maybe three hours . After more cleaning and administering medicine I noticed I needed to get ready for work . My only hope was that my mom was feeling better and could come get my daughter (did not happen she was still extremely ill) as I rushed to get myself at least mostly decent I finally convinced my girl to get into the car so she could go to grandmas. After her carsick ride I set on to work already late , only to find I was actually wayyyyy late . I was triggered I felt so defeated and if that wasn’t enough bing there goes the gas light . After an short bit very meaningful prayer to help me make it to work safely and swiftly I punched it to work passing up every station on the way . When I arrived there was an long line and the battle to fight the tears had proven me not the winner . Β And then again crying to amount to FOUR Β yes FOUR breakdowns in conjunction to not eating , no sleep and not even close to enough caffeine I was ready to burn every single bridge . Just burn it all down (there’s the Scorpio in me ) . And soon after my fits I was awarded with an massive migraine. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ I know better I just never learn . After my shift I made an Walmart trip to get sick people supplies , at this point I’m not feeling too great and just rushing through the soup aisle grabbing everything required to get through the influenza virus as comfortably as possible. I pick up my daughter and head home . Laying in my bed dipping my saltines into my soup I take the deepest set of breathes ever and say you did it you made it home . I couldn’t help but cry and wish I had some backup because things are getting real heavy on these shoulders . Mom life is an battle not set up for the weak Β and making it to the finish line matters no matter how many times you stop along the way !

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