Did you make it through today ? If you are reading this you did it , you didn’t give up ! As an mom that continuously fights depression, chronic pain and fatigue that sentence up there means everything. As many of you know my husband has been away for a few years so it has just been me and my daughter. As an way of coping with that I’ve always worked myself so I had no free time to feel sorry for myself . Lately that method hasn’t been doing the trick like it used to , when I dive into why a few thoughts come to mind . The first explanation is he will be home very soon and the next is that I am just tired . I AM TIRED . If you are an single parent or even your partner is away a lot then I know you understand the weight of having everything around you depending on you . Yesterday morning I was woken up to “mommy my tummy hurts “ and then bam throw up on my shirt . My daughter has been going through a phase where getting her to eat is hard so I thought maybe she just doesn’t have enough in her stomach . But then the temperature came and repetitive vomit . I quickly came to her aide holding her hair giving her water and putting her in an bath . I called my mommy because yes I still need my mommy , I was panicking she has never been this sick before and I wasn’t sure what to do to help her and my mom had told me she is feeling the same way . Thankfully appendicitis was ruled out at that point as she was just with my mom . I called in sick to work which sadly and hard to admit if my mom wasn’t sick I would have still gone in . After cleaning bed sheets , checking temperature, wiping up vomit off of her and her bed . Wiping her after she went to the restroom so she doesn’t end up with an rash , convincing her to rake some sips of water and trying to get her put literally anything in her stomach she started crying that she wanted popsicles, mind you my mom is my backup so if I am ill or Ainsley is she goes and gets supplies. Being that she is just as ill I was at an loss as to how to get my princess her popsicles, such an simple yet important request when you are feeling under the weather . I cried because I don’t recall being so vulnerable with no backup . I didn’t know who to call mostly because I am an depressive shut in that doesn’t communicate with people . I got the thought to call my friend and thankfully I caught her just before she was getting to work it took no convincing how important this request was and her response was I am on my way . There it was the solution to the problem that would make or break our day . All day continued the same as well as all night every hour I was summoned to my baby’s room . Sleep was not in the cards and that was crystal clear . When she did finally go to sleep I slept 🙌🏻. The time equivocated to maybe three hours . After more cleaning and administering medicine I noticed I needed to get ready for work . My only hope was that my mom was feeling better and could come get my daughter (did not happen she was still extremely ill) as I rushed to get myself at least mostly decent I finally convinced my girl to get into the car so she could go to grandmas. After her carsick ride I set on to work already late , only to find I was actually wayyyyy late . I was triggered I felt so defeated and if that wasn’t enough bing there goes the gas light . After an short bit very meaningful prayer to help me make it to work safely and swiftly I punched it to work passing up every station on the way . When I arrived there was an long line and the battle to fight the tears had proven me not the winner . And then again crying to amount to FOUR yes FOUR breakdowns in conjunction to not eating , no sleep and not even close to enough caffeine I was ready to burn every single bridge . Just burn it all down (there’s the Scorpio in me ) . And soon after my fits I was awarded with an massive migraine. 🤦🏻♀️ I know better I just never learn . After my shift I made an Walmart trip to get sick people supplies , at this point I’m not feeling too great and just rushing through the soup aisle grabbing everything required to get through the influenza virus as comfortably as possible. I pick up my daughter and head home . Laying in my bed dipping my saltines into my soup I take the deepest set of breathes ever and say you did it you made it home . I couldn’t help but cry and wish I had some backup because things are getting real heavy on these shoulders . Mom life is an battle not set up for the weak and making it to the finish line matters no matter how many times you stop along the way !
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